just a catching up kinda blog.

just felt like posted a random this is my life kinda blog. i had left SJC as of last december. i am still ooking for a job as of right now and it sucks! i have brought a few people into my life and gotten rid of a few others(*cough* matt *cough*). but mostly i have spent the last 7 months figuring out what i want ot do with my life. so yeah that is not working out so fabulous. still single but i have a prospective guy but he m ight be too much for me . he seem to care but i worry thst it wil change if her ever pins me down on a day for our first date. Sigh i just am not sure if i am really the person he is looking for but he seems sure and i just do not want ot make him promises i am not willing ot keep. alos the thought of getting serious with him brings back the freak out over whether or not i should get that stupid HPV vaccine. and alos the fact that i have ot make an appointment with my Gyno. always a fun event. just more stress then i need when i am trying tio not flip ouit on my family everytime they hand me another wanted ad. it is noth that thy want me out my mother is just afraid thati will become a hermit  or something if i do not find some new frioends in this state. not that i do not love my CT girls but i agree i need people i can actiually hang on with and will visit me. not thati mind making the 5 hour trip to CT but it would be noce to not have to all the time. i want ot go to the movies and hang out and i am just tired of not hearing from people for weeks on end unless i text/call thme in crisis. I am lonely, and i think of i just give in and stop fighting this guy i will have someone. but then again i then have the obligation to do things with him. and he has no car so it would be nice if we didnlt have to play the "no, i am nor driving you" game. it drives me mad, i do not blame him for not having one i just hate that is complicated my life. why can;t i ever have an easy time with cap like this and then there is the CAE and thie stipud crap about my not eing good enough! i ma amazing but still not one likes me and no one will hire me! sigh i am not sure if it is jut others are better qualified or of i am just lacking in experiance. I could scream but it wiuld really not do anyone any good. it will just make me think i am more crazy. i ma going ot stop before i say anything too bad, not that there is much more to say, Munchie is still too hot for words i still hate my chihuahua tia just for existing, James is going ot college soon whixh is ginna suck becasue he is the sane one. my dad still drives me crazy and my mother is still busy. so yeah thati is it for now and i hopefully will be keepoing up with this more now that we have a new router and therefore relible internet. okay done for now BYE